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| | Abyss | |
| | Author | Message |
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Flamelunar Member
Posts : 58 Join date : 2016-04-25 Age : 23 Location : In paradise~
| Subject: Abyss Tue Apr 26, 2016 4:42 am | |
| Abyss- Abyss:
Sorry about the sketchiness Species:Absol Pokédex Number: #359 Gender:Female Type:Dark Age:15 Level: 41 Moveset: Swords Dance Night Slash Play Rough (EM) Megahorn (EM) Description:Abyss is a regular mammalian quadruped, not too different from any other individual from her species. Being a female, and young at that, her build is small and compact. Under her superfluffy pelt ripples 90 pounds of muscle and bone. She is an Absol in her prime, with broad paws providing unrivaled grip, razor claws and scythe meant for powerful defense and warfare, a lithe build with something of a the faun in her grace and fluid motions. She moves in a blur, a streak of white confident in her own physical capabilities - her build enables her to attain unusual speeds. Her dark highlights are in especially stark contrast against her white fur. Her crimson eyes burn with iridescent radiance, studded with small violet flecks. The lock of fur that normally falls over the side of an Absol's face slightly covers her left eye. She wears a dark red strip of cloth around her neck, held together by an oval brooch. It was from when she had once caught a raging sickness. She had recovered completely from it, but she kept the protective cloth around, though she had no emotional attachment to it. Personality: Abyss is a queer, complex mix, indecisive and disoriented as though she doesn't quite know who she wants to be. Silent, she has rarely spoken since as long as she remembers, and even in speech, hers is a quiet, monotonous, soft voice. Externally, she displays scarce emotion, whilst within she battles an internal conflict. Still in her young teens, she stands alone, unhindered, unassisted, to work out the world and her own self. She wonders at the world about her, and that being said, she lives roundly grounded in the present. She considers herself a fair judge of others, working out their mannerisms, behaviour, thoughts. Sentient beings intrigue her. Though she may be uncertain about herself, she makes split-second decisions as long as it's something she's comfortable with. Abyss has powerful ambition, and the will to get there, but when one brings sentiments into play, her confident exterior dissolves. Her personality seems to be quite situational and contradicting, as certain aspects of emotions, both hers and otherwise, are still unexplored territory to her. Intelligent, and often considered strange by others, she is very secretive and prefer to keeps to herself. She has great insight and her deduction skills are unlike any other. She is meticulous and tends to be a deep thinker that can see the “big picture”, and seldom needs - or asks for - advice. She has a sense of justice and what's right, but will not hesitate to resort to deceit. Abyss is not accustomed to false modesty - if she says something, she means it; as is wont of her clear, transparent nature. She recognizes the power of words, and wields them carefully, gaining amazing eloquence. Although, she is someone who isn't always in touch with reality and tends to be lost in another thought or daydream. She is fairly cool-headed, and unlikely to be swayed by emotions. In the right company, under her tough exterior is simply a young vulpine who enjoys having fun. She closes up instantaneously, reflexively to strangers, feeling awkward under the judging gazes of society, and generally avoids crowds like the plague, though with fluid motions, she can usually slip through them. She appears to be detached and uncaring, but when it comes down to it she is a very motivated and driven person. She fights for what she believes in and is very powerful. She would protect the ones that she cares for, even at the cost of her life. She is inconsistent, wilful, and fond of idly scratching the dirt. Abyss is mysterious, to the point that she suddenly zones out, eyes glazing over and 'looking at something only she can see', whatsoever it may be. Her vivid imagination loses her to golden frenzies of wind-stirred buttercups and glories of wild roses, golden domes of sunsets and heavy, dusky violet twilights. She refrains from doing things sometimes, so others wouldn't know what she is to do next, to remain unpredictable always, and naturally distances herself from company, aloof and shrouded in a cloak of night. No one knows, or will ever know, the thoughts registered in her mind. Her subtle, luculent movements keep her behavior from being read easily, though this behavior is not gained sub consciously. She consciously keeps track and is aware of all that goes around her, to the point of observing minute details. Her personality, as such, is as fluid as her whims. Very random, they appear as random splashes of color on an otherwise blank canvas of paper. She can be shy a moment, and a raging she-dragon the other. Each aspect like the facet of a spectral gem, shimmering in all it's iridescent luminescence, she still makes a wonderful, unique, colourful mixture of a person to meet. Likes: Solitude Quiet, peace Thinking Drawing in dust Freedom Running Nature Knowledge, wisdom Fine arts Sweets Dislikes: Most others Getting wet Sour/spicy/tasteless things Being restricted Being made fun of Not comprehending something Crowds Items: Razor Claw (Legendary family heirloom)History: Singled out from birth, with great expectations placed upon her, Abyss far outshone her other littermates, be it from her batch or any other. Young or old, all knew Abyss was different. Except her. She was evidently next to possess a legendary family heirloom that was said to double the holders power. Abyss didn't understand. She never did understand. Years after her parents' death, the parents she barely remembered, her separation from her pack, she still puzzled over her past. Abyss had the potential to carry the legendary item which required great responsibility and greater capabilities. Her very physical appearance marked her as different, marked her for greatness. At a tender age, she outclassed most other pack members, with lightning speed, winning her battles in a fast and furious one-move bouts. She was expected to. It was a harsh childhood, her limits constantly being tested, pushed, broken, destroyed. She watched with scant envy as her other littermates played and ki-yi'd, but the envy was, after all, scant. She had no time to feel envious. It was back to training with her. While this extensive workout kept her in prime shape, and perhaps the greatest fighter known in the pack's history was born, Abyss was confused. Was she happy? What was happiness? What did she know? She did not know of the icy coldness of the pattering rain. She did not know of the warmth of a cuddle among siblings. She did not know the sweetness of an affectionate gesture. She turned away. However, all said and done, she received the best of everything - right after the alpha pair, her parents.. The best, healthiest food. The best resources. Even the occasional rare berry - a treat to be savoured. It was a known fact that Abyss was not like the others, a fact laid stress on. She knew an unusual and very strong combination of moves, honed together to form a deadly fighter. None knew how she possessed two Egg moves - perhaps her parents had simply carried over the genes. There was no doubt to the fact that she was a pure-bred Absol. Or was there? She grew quiet and secluded as she became a practical stranger to the pack, to her own siblings, who drove an indignant, but unresisting Abyss away when she tried to join them in their romps. She was puzzled - why did they reject her? Was that fear she detected in their eyes? In her spare time, when she gained a moment for respite, she was left alone with her thoughts. As she grew older, this spare time grew and grew. She had no worthy opponents left, even to further her training. While she drowsed in the comforting sunlight, whispers passed around the pack, with furtive glances. She had never come in contact with humans, she did not know of kindness. What did she know? She knew nothing. It drove her mad. She did not see the shimmering portal-like sphere as she raced through the forest, her mind dancing a tantivy beat, a race through the forest alongside her. She did not see the sphere through her tears, not until it was too late. Even as she passed through, her thoughts preoccupied her mind. Her parents were dead. Who had killed them? Had she killed them? She knew nothing. Example RP:Arceus, all the situations are exciting xP Anyone mind if I write all? (Disclaimer: A Super Luck Absol holding a Razor Fang using a move with a high crit rate (Night Slash, Psycho Cut, Slash) has a 100% chance to crit, and using a normal move (Play Rough, Megahorn) has a 75% chance to crit. An Absol with +2 attack (Swords Dance) can OHKO a Mega Rayquaza (with crit STAB Night Slash). Sorry for the stats, I'm normally a competitive battler ^w^') - Prompt #1:
This place wasn't too bad. Abyss walked silently through the forest, silent footed, a wraith of destruction. She passed from shadow to shadow, keeping to the concealing shade. It wouldn't help her in what was to come. She paused; she sensed something. Something that was fast. Strong. And heading right for her. Her crimson eyes darted around the undergrowth - for the short time she'd been here, it had struck her a peaceful place. A requiem of sadness swelled and rose in her a memory intruded in her mind, and a rogue Pokemon intruded in her face. She could feel it's hot breath on her as she rapidly backed off, instinctively dodging the wild flurry of attacks it launched at her. Her mind drew a blank for a couple of seconds, as her reflexes and training took over, giving her time enough to identify the foe.
Then she took off. She turned tail and ran - glancing back to check if her assailant followed. It evidently did. Flashes of black fur, hot laboured breath. The occasional spark. A rogue Luxray. Abyss focused on running. If she had thought of outrunning her foe, or wearing it down before turning and delivering a vicious blow of her own, it would have worked had a blur suddenly not swiped across her vision, leaving a stinging slash in it's wake on her flank. Abyss winced and stopped suddenly as yet another blur blocked her vision. Now she had three aggressive pokemon to deal with? She snarled, as her mouth stretched in a silent twist of hate, revealing dripping white fangs, fangs as cruelly white as the moon. The Luxray, now evidently joined with a Ninjask and Weavile paused, long enough for her to hone her claws and mind up a bit for battle. Her horn and claws glowed with radiance rivaling the sun as she executed a Swords Dance. Then she lunged, and the Night Slashed down on them.
It was a mystical item she held.
- Prompt #2:
Abyss noted the increased amount of spare time she had. Her head settled between her paws, her vivid eyes closed, and she was back home. It wasn't the best home, but it was hers. She sighed, and her eyes fluttered open. Her breath had collided against something. A little Vulpix stood bashfully before her. Her head raised, she tilted her head, looking questioningly at the little Fire Fox. "H-Hello, Miss?" Abyss blinked. It spoke. The Vulpix was noticeably on edge, and the awkwardness was heightened by Abyss' silence. "Uhm...Miss...? Well...it's, just...like, I...I mean..." Abyss blinked again. Now that the Vulpix had her attention, was he going to say anything? The little Fire type had lapsed into embarrassed silence, but still stood there. It clearly wouldn't leave before stuttering out what it had come to say. He breathed again, for a second attempt. Abyss was intrigued. What was he doing? "W-Well...see, Miss...You're really cool! And I-I...I li-....li-..." Abyss silenced him by placing a paw over his own. The Vulpix stopped in sheer amazement and confusion, staring mutely at her. Abyss felt troubled by his gaze, and by what he was trying to say. She would never know what he meant until he actually said it, but she wished to cut short his agony. What she couldn't say verbally, her eyes spoke for her. But the Fire type got the message. It scurried off, fur flaming in embarrassment, blunted by Abyss' intervention, albeit feeling lighter, as though a load had been lifted off his small shoulders. Abyss laid her head back over her paws, eyes glazing over as she retreated to her world. One thought niggled at her head.
She was cool?
- Prompt #3:
Would this never end? The Absol stared, perturbed at the shaking egg - it was small, with a calcareous covering, and an alarming crack was visible on it. It was pleasingly blue in colour, well, at least pleasing to eyes besides Abyss, who didn't seem very pleased. She glared at it with distaste, as though it would prevent it from hatching. She was not good around children, and she'd have a massive problem if the egg hatched and the pokemon inside decided to take her for its mother. She leaned close and sniffed at it, and got a piece of eggshell on her nose for her trouble. She wrinkled her nose, blowing the shell off, as the crack widened. She could see movement inside, and it unnerved her.
She gingerly picked it up with her forepaws, having seated herself close to the egg, and placed it in the cloth hanging around her neck. Securing the egg - now half present there - with her chin, she took off like the wind in her frantic hurry to find the parents of this mysterious egg. Hopefully they wouldn't attack her - how had it reached there anyway?
Her fear grew, piece by piece, as the shell chipped away, piece by piece. Finally, in fear of it, dunno, maybe exploding in her face, she had to stop and set it down - very gently on the grass. Not a moment too soon as the egg glowed brightly - Abyss wondered what that was, was it the baby absorbing the egg for energy? For when the glow subsided, there was no egg shell, only a limp little Surskit. Abyss blinked, and nosed it to its tiny feet - were those...made for standing? Before the Water Bug could open it's eyes and notice her, she quickly - albeit not roughly - placed the baby in her scarf again and ran off, feeling as though she had just witnessed a miracle. The miracle of birth, of life.
- Prompt #4:
It looked familiar. Abyss mused in silence as she stumbled across what was clearly a bullying scene. The resemblance to a certain part of her memory struck her immediately, and she almost turned away. Almost. Instead, she stood her ground to watch the Houndour snarl at the trembling Oddish. The latter caught sight of her and gave a squeak - of alarm? Joy? She'd hardly imagine anyone would be joyful to see her. The Houndour whipped around with a snarl. "What're you lookin' at?" Abyss' eyes widened. She stared at the Houndour, who grew uneasy in the moment of quiet, contemplative silence. Then the Absol's red eyes narrowed. Nobody had the right...a life without worries...an abyss of darkness. What were the thoughts that descended in that hollow? This had happened to her in the past, when she did not have the courage or the heart to do what was right, what she should have done. What she would do now, would it be the same? She covered the distance of some five feet to slam her claws deep into the ground right at the Houndour's paws, even as it blinked. The alarm hit when the jumpy Fire pup started, before turning and fleeing. Abyss watched him go before turning to check on...the absent Oddish. Had she scared it off? She paused, then resumed walking.
No worries.
Last edited by Flamelunar on Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:32 am; edited 4 times in total |
| | | Corelean Moderator
Posts : 201 Join date : 2016-01-01 Age : 34 Location : Upside down in wacky town!
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 1:59 am | |
| Hi! Oh wow, points for doing all of the segments!! There are a few things I see that I might need to consort with Mew about that I don't think are allowed like: the physical attributes being very powerful and incredibly stealthy might be getting close to the OP mark, The spots on the skin (eyes are fine though). I'll let you know when she replies though! |
| | | Flamelunar Member
Posts : 58 Join date : 2016-04-25 Age : 23 Location : In paradise~
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 2:05 am | |
| Ooh, sorry. Should I cut back on one of them? (Sorry about this, but is she stealthy anywhere besides the first prompt? I need to be sure if I'm editing her app to remove that attribute (which is most likely))
EDIT: Darn it, missing out part in the first speed read-through. The skin is actually the dark parts of the 'Sol (as I see it ^^') so it's just a shimmer (light undertone/highlight/something?). Would the red and purple theme not work? ;; |
| | | Mew Owner
Posts : 101 Join date : 2013-07-29 Age : 24 Location : The Realm
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:16 am | |
| I'm here!
From first glance, the thing that sticks out at me the most is the fact that she's 15 but level 60. I understand that she was pushed into training a lot during her childhood but essentially she's still a young adult and being level 60 at that age seems a bit too powerful. I guess it would be like a teenager becoming an Olympic athlete for a sport that isn't geared towards younger athletes (such as gymnastics, which requires young athletes because older people don't typically have the body for it anymore :P). I think it would be more realistic if she was level 30-35, 40 at most. If she has any moves that are only available at higher levels you'll have to change those too... :/
About the ability, I didn't originally include abilities into the character applications because 1) I've never really paid attention to the abilities in the games in the first place and 2) There are some rare abilities that could make a character too powerful. I'm not sure how rare the Super Luck ability is but it seems to be one of those more powerful abilities that could make battling really one-sided. :0
The stealth I think is okay, since I'm pretty sure Absols are naturally fast, although I will look this up just in case I'm wrong.
This is all I found just from skimming it. :0 If I find anything else I'll let you know! |
| | | Flamelunar Member
Posts : 58 Join date : 2016-04-25 Age : 23 Location : In paradise~
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 9:18 am | |
| Thank you for reviewing! I'll cut down the level, but is the X/Y system being followed or the OR/AS? The moveset differs for the two. Super Luck is a fairly uncommon ability, and it's not much good without the proper moveset. Only a few Pokemon can utilize efficiently, mostly Absol and Honchkrow. A regular mon with Super Luck has only a 12.5% chance to crit (1/8) while, as I said, Absol (or potentially Honchkrow (although they often don't have the attack to back it up)) has, under certain circumstances, a 100% chance to crit. I just thought about tweaking it a bit (since I didn't find the crit-happy thing too unrealistic) Nine pokemon can have Super Luck. (Some sources describe Super Luck as an ability to predict the opponent's move and act before the opponent does)
Absol do live in mountainous terrain, and stealthy pokemon generally live in plains... I've removed the stealth part (I just found it in the first excerpt, where she's walking through the forest before being attacked)
((Would I have my head chopped off to mention that Absol statistically are fast physical sweepers? Please don't hurt me!))
I'll go ahead and change the level, and stick to the most recent (OR/AS) for now, I can change it if needed (especially as the moveset doesn't change with OR/AS) |
| | | Corelean Moderator
Posts : 201 Join date : 2016-01-01 Age : 34 Location : Upside down in wacky town!
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 3:21 pm | |
| It looks better but I'm still concerned about the 100% critical hit rate when battling another pokemon. Imagine if your pokemon was the one they were fighting and automatically have them dead within the first move, it would seem incredibly unfair if not prompted by you as well. ^^' People wouldn't want their pokemon destroyed one hit in. Perhaps if you discussed this with the person you'd duel and maybe if it didn't happen 100% of the time unless the other person says it could. Then maybe it would be ok! |
| | | Flamelunar Member
Posts : 58 Join date : 2016-04-25 Age : 23 Location : In paradise~
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 4:16 pm | |
| True enough, but I thought fighting didn't occur commonly in the Realm? Besides, I don't think she'd initiate battles too quickly (*must add in cool-headed...*) ((The only guarantee for a 100% crit is if she uses Night Slash (which admittedly has STAB))) I could disregard the ability, but with the Razor Claw, and using Night Slash, it's still a 50% chance to crit. (Otherwise it is 12.5%)
EDIT: Ability is out of play now~ (Wait, do I roll a dice or something to determine crits if she does get into a battle?) ((Also, I took a look at Absol's X/Y moveset. For the sake of keeping Night Slash in her moveset, permission to raise level to 41?)) |
| | | Corelean Moderator
Posts : 201 Join date : 2016-01-01 Age : 34 Location : Upside down in wacky town!
| Subject: Re: Abyss Wed Apr 27, 2016 8:25 pm | |
| I don't see level 41 being that bad so sure ^^. Battling usually happens when someone needs to settle an argument/disagreement, a fun spar, or just a way to gain levels and see who's tougher! ^^ |
| | | Flamelunar Member
Posts : 58 Join date : 2016-04-25 Age : 23 Location : In paradise~
| Subject: Re: Abyss Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:36 am | |
| Okay, thank you, fixed~ Hiked the level up to 41, edited out the part about the red-purple undertone.
This is ready for re-evaluation~! |
| | | Corelean Moderator
Posts : 201 Join date : 2016-01-01 Age : 34 Location : Upside down in wacky town!
| Subject: Re: Abyss Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:29 pm | |
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